You know the feeling when the world moves around you but yours froze because your hands were intertwined with the person you love? That's how I feel right now.
It has been a week since Rick and I started going out. Aside from Jessie and Lloyd, we haven't spoken to anyone about our relationship. Well, I wasn't ready to face anyone just yet but eventually I know I would have to.
Janet was surprised to see me in the kitchen early in the morning. She ushered me to the table and served me pancakes and hot cocoa.
"You're early today." She said and sat beside me.
I smiled at her in response.
"And you're smiling a lot now. I wonder."
"Wonder what?" I asked.
"You mean, wonder who?" She moved her chair closer to mine. "Only another person can make you smile like that I'm sure."
Janet knows me better than mom. Sometimes I think she knows me better than myself.
"How can you tell?"
"I took care of you like you were my own and a mother knows her children. Mothers know best, Alvin."
She stood up and rubbed my head. "Introduce her to me OK?"
I bit my lip. I hate lying to her but I didn't know how to tell her. However, knowing Janet, she'll discover it soon.
"Janet, sorry, but it's not a her." I almost choked on the last word.
She sat back on the chair and smiled at me.
"OK, then let me rephrase, introduce him to me. Ok?"
I felt a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I knew she'll understand. I shouldn't have doubted Janet.
"Thanks, I'll introduce him, I promise."
She kissed the top of my head and left me in the kitchen. If I tell my parents about him, would they accept Rick, accept me, as easily as Janet did? Me, an only son, gay, in a relationship with another guy.
I stared at my plate. The half eaten pancake, swimming in syrup and melted butter, it tasted too sweey, something that Rick would prefer.
I smiled just remembering him. I wonder what he's doing right now?
Rick was home. More like, at the house, but not actually at home. For the longest time since his parents separated, he no longer feel safe at the house. He preferred the comfort of the school gym, or Jessie's backyard. Anywhere but this house. What made him stay was his little brother Raymond, who's going to start highschool next year. He decided to stay until Raymond was able to move out with him.
However, now that he has Alvin, he had to plan out everything again. He can't abandon his brother, he can't leave Alvin. He knows how Alvin felt left out when his parents decided to be busy at work. And he did not want his brother to go through it all.
So Rick decided that it's the perfect time for him to speak to his brother.
"I applied for A-UNI. You should come with me and go to A-High."
Raymond looked at his brother, puzzled. Raymond was the opposite of his older brother. He got his features from their mother. He's short, a good 5'3, with soft features, unlike Rick who looked like a jock.
"I thought you were offered a scholarship at the state U?" He's also soft spoken like their mother.
Rick nodded. "Yes. But I found someone."
"Someone?" Raymond tilted his head. His brother gave him a very vague answer.
"Yes." Rick smiled. "Someone."