35 extra : Jessie“s diary
It has been two years since Rick and I broke up. It has been that long since I told him that we'd better stay as friends. We grew up together
and my mom and his dad were friends. I guess I was just saying that I prefer to live like this, us as best friends rather than lovers.
He said he'd like to "see the beauty of every morning" with me, and ofcourse, me, who was already secretly crushing on him, was in cloud nine. I'd be a liar if I'd say I never liked him, I had for a long time. I just never had the courage to confess and tell him how I felt. So when he asked me out, I said yes.
I had the best week of my life. Yes, one week, seven days. That's how long we dated but it was enough for me to fall in love with him even more and to have memories to last a lifetime. We went out on dates like normal boyfriend- girlfriend however I noticed something off,more so on the seventh day. I knew he'd break up with me. It's a girl's intuition, I guess, and because I have pride and I knew this was bound to happen, I ended it with him first. I said I'd rather lose a lover than my best friend. He agreed and thanked me for it.
Although I was the one who broke up with him, I was heartbroken. Deep inside I wanted him to tell me I was wrong, that he'd rather have me as his girlfriend or I could take the role of both girlfriend and best friend. I wanted him to stop me, pull me in an embrace and tell me he loved me. But no, none of it happened.
Since then, for the two years since we broke up, I stayed single while Rick picked up a habit of playing around with girls, especially when we started highschool and he joined the basketball team. I didn't stop him although it was painful for me. I thought that, eventually he'd realize that he could not find what he wanted from another girl and come back to me. Pathetic right? He kept his cycle again and again until one day, I saw a sparkle in his eyes when he looked at someone. That day, I knew I finally lost him.
One look I knew something was different about him. He was in love. I knew it but I didn't want to acknowledge it, not because I didn't want him to be happy. It was because of the person he was so smitten with. I was angry, insecure, jealous.
Rick asked me to tutor him in English so invited him to the PubRoom to give him lessons. However he gained more than just adjectives and adverbs, his eyes were set in Alvin, the Editor in Chief.
Alvin's snobby, bossy and too serious. He doesn't smile, he doesn't talk unless necessary but when Rick started hanging out in the PubRoom, Alvin's ice started melting and that's all thanks to Rick. The more I watch, the more I realize the inevitable. Seeing them together, even without speaking with one another, just them, seated side by side, seemingly enveloped by an invisible bubble, they have created their own little world. Yes, the more I watch, the more my heart ached, like poking on scars that never healed.
But I had to let him go. I had spoken with Alvin and he promised to take care of Rick. I knew deep in my heart Rick would always have his place, I just have to keep it hidden. Rick and Alvin, they'd face so much just to keep their relationship and I'd be on their side. As long as they're happy, I would be too. I'll be the number one fan of the Chief and the Captain.